Waiting
I wish I could have saved you
From the harsh absurdity of words
carrying power beyond sense
Crazy making test
No you did not ask for this
who does?
Don’t listen to them, I say with my eyes
etiquette preventing me
Foiled by hesitation
and unearned deference
this sick pretending
Waiting for you to grow up
wondering how it will turn out
The marks you will carry
the things you will bury
the things to be undone
The burden of guilt weighs on me
with twisted pride, my badge of love
And bitter shame at useless tears
Can you see that I see you?
in your pain
I cannot do enough to stop it
weary with prayers for your escape
I want to blot it all out
but force myself to stay
They say there is only so much I can do
but they do not see the endless plea
in your little eyes
already scrambling to hold on
Hatched in this subtle prison
mirages conjured
to soothe dirty conscience
When every other thing is wrong
rejection becoming the only means
to carve out a bit of freedom
And so I watch and wait
for your baby soft flesh to stretch and grow
for the words to make less sense
for you to see that I see
and that you can be in truth
Embrace the Paradox 