Still Laughing
Funny bone throbbing
a dull ache from a hard smack
This is serious!
and I’ve forgotten why
I need to wipe the smile
that smears across my face
You will make me pay for it
My casual insubordinance
jostling elbow digging in your side
Making up for my days of simpering
Oblivious abdication
of the space I am taking
Built-in cattle prod
Hand-wringing
and skittering movements
And other shows of weakness
Nothing personal
Not you, per se
Fill-in-the-blank authority
Wiping your feet on my path
The insults automatic yet well crafted
even as the thrill falls flat
How worked up shall I get?
Rally the masses to my cause
Only to be buried alongside you
if I am not careful with my words
I do not own it, cannot control it
Even as I ride this wave
I am not pretending good
My nudge nudge wink wink
too obvious a kiss-off
You will not back down from
the slap of my glove
And other wordless provocations
Smacking lips and picking teeth,
flicking scraps from my tongue
Taunting you in my quiet way
until you soothe yourself with my pain
Transient triumph
A swift kick to my ass
and I am knocked down
Foaming at the mouth
Cursing with mild surprise
You preen in easy courage
I brush the dust and straighten up
Clearing my throat of misery and sniveling
Touche old friend and hateful lover
I’m getting off at the next stop
Still laughing
Embrace the Paradox 