Grace
I find myself
Clad in black
Head to toe
Black hole heavy
Absorbing the light
Air hot against my eyes
Day too bright
I trudge along
Becoming shade
Out of sync in the sun
Clinging to darkness
Something’s missing
Been too busy to notice
Buzzing like a bee
Ready to sting – watch out!
Ready to pull my own guts out
To be the sucker in my punch
And now the dry day hangs over
Grace has left me
Because I kicked it to the curb
Belly twists in a cry as I think this
Outrage bursting into boil
Brutal fists pictured pounding
To abuse these gifts…
You don’t deserve…
What if it is lost forever?
Harshness clawing at my head
No,no,no
I cannot
even
fathom
With a choke in my throat
Heaves with nothing to come up
Just bareness
One second later
Crow caws echo off hard surfaces
As I walk in the shadow of buildings
Coolness enveloping me
Half wondering if I am hearing things
I look up to find the source
Exactly at my destination
Black feather sheen
Curved beak and sharp eyes
Peering down at me
As if to say
See, lost no more
And I am overwhelmed
With gratitude
With knowingness
I, victim and punisher
Self flagellation
In the name of a god
fragile enough to shatter
Holding my breath
Block out the sound and sight
Trying to squeeze life out of rocks
Humanity’s insane alchemy
Not forsaken
Only forgetting myself
The silence there to jog me
Neither to abandon or rebuke me
Reminders in their absence
That I have fallen
Off the path
Gentle nudges
To bring me back
To where I came from
To what I once was
Before all the doing undid me
A baby before words jumble truth
Embrace the Paradox 