Can’t Always Be
I slump heavy
Aching everywhere
I’m so tired of giving in
Wasting time
This isn’t a joke
I gasp out, all rigid borders
Keeping it together on the outside
And screaming within
How do I not judge myself as weak?
How do I keep from slipping again?
It’s when I forget and fall asleep
Laughing as I creep to the edge of this cliff
Coaxed by sweet nothings whispered in my ear
And yet I am too scared to fly
I will! I will? Not ready, need more time…
Not now, not yet, damn it
Growing impatience
Curling inside me
Help me to make the most of this life
I know I cannot do it alone
Whenever I ask, I am answered
But sometimes it’s hard to hold onto hope
And I am sick of my pleading
I know this is how it is
Fists calloused and tender
Pounding against a wall
That feels like a dead end
Why is it always when I’m on my knees
Almost broken
That it comes to me
Forgive me
For I am truly thankful
I just can’t always
Be
Embrace the Paradox 