If I Stare Too Hard
If I stare too hard
it becomes the goal
instead of the inspiration
Hugging it to me
In desperation
Vehicle becoming object of desire
A thing of worship
The promise of salvation
Through numbness and breaking
Crunched down in denial
It is too much and I am not enough
At least that is what has been whipped into me
The scars lie
Catching my skin before I can stretch
Always bluffing
Ready to turn on me in my sleep
If only I remembered what I once knew
It would feel so familiar
It would taste like home
But nothing stays as it is
Dreams collapsing
Shifting, morphing
Spaced out
Complacent
I am lost to it again
This delicate balance
This moving target
Sculpting out of air
We hack reality
Words become deeds
Eating and drinking
Sacrament in name only
We hear the truth
And crush it in our embrace
The more I try to focus
The less clear I see
Face pressed against glass
I do not notice the steam
Of my own breath
Embrace the Paradox 