Lost & Found
When I am in this
Time is my enemy
Ticking away, slipping away
As I remain stuck
Frozen stiff like a statue
Shining red eyes glued to the screen
Watching the same things
Over and over
With barely a crusty blink
As I sink
Further down this hole
There is a balance
between compulsivity
and creativity
I take things in to spark the flame
to fuel the engines of my vision
But sometimes I get lost in it
Cannot put my finger on it
The lapsing of lucidity
in my waking dreams
Enthralled in the taste of it all
Guzzling it down like all tomorrow’s parties
Purpose falling into pure process
Means become ends
I am sick of trapping myself
Tricky, tricky me
“It’s not that easy,” I say
Taunts to keep freedom at bay
The more I fight
The more I stay
What, do you want me to surrender?
Fall into the line marked Martyrs
Breaking our backs for a blessing
Seeking a reprieve from the loaded gun
Cocked and pointed at our hearts
Fierce truth relentless, hot breath on our backs
Victorious in the end, but no gloating
Only the sound of stillness
And I cannot defend this anymore
When everything seems so turned around
Searching, searching to be found
Embrace the Paradox 